Eyes of Spirit

now it is that i cannot find myself;
a dark and draining place is hardly unfamiliar;
did you not notice the wounds in these wings;
i have been here before;

my roots are unknown;
i know not my very own foundation;
since i began this journey, my identity lie in a capsule;
once passed to me as a helping hand for a suchdark place;

even still, each thought is greased out;
holding just one is not possible;
understanding just one is even further from my grasp;
the search runs on, my eyes run deep;
and as the answers dissolve before me, my spirit breaks;
i have nothing left to fall on, nothing left to lunge for;
i am now but a wretch;
yet something wakes me at dawn;

god, creator of the heavens and the earth;
your plan for me is not clear;
i cannot grasp you;
your claim to always be by my side, guiding me, strengthening me;
god where are you, who are you;
how can you claim to be with me and never once let yourself be seen;
i see all of this, feel even more, and i ask oh god what kind of ambassador am i.