Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Imperialist Swine

writings of the mind i have been given

Eyes of Spirit

now it is that i cannot find myself;
a dark and draining place is hardly unfamiliar;
did you not notice the wounds in these wings;
i have been here before;

my roots are unknown;
i know not my very own foundation;
since i began this journey, my identity lie in a capsule;
once passed to me as a helping hand for a suchdark place;

even still, each thought is greased out;
holding just one is not possible;
understanding just one is even further from my grasp;
the search runs on, my eyes run deep;
and as the answers dissolve before me, my spirit breaks;
i have nothing left to fall on, nothing left to lunge for;
i am now but a wretch;
yet something wakes me at dawn;

god, creator of the heavens and the earth;
your plan for me is not clear;
i cannot grasp you;
your claim to always be by my side, guiding me, strengthening me;
god where are you, who are you;
how can you claim to be with me and never once let yourself be seen;
i see all of this, feel even more, and i ask oh god what kind of ambassador am i.

Eyes of an Outsider

she sits restlessly, occupied by overwhelming feelings of passion;
her mind races, searching for an answer to her desires;
frantically she tries to work logic into emotion;
as she alerts from a daze, her eyes fall right back onto him, warming her heart;
she was young, innocent, captivated by now;
little does she know, her emotions are in control;
all that is left is justification for her unfaithfulness;

it is a beautiful thing witnessing two hearts connect;
for the eyes of an outsider, like an angel lurking from the heavens, see a blind hurt break one and love grows in another.

Eyes of No More

you painted a picture;
im the worst kind of sinner you know;
you condemmed me, you broke me;
i finally lost the hand of my world, my will;
and now im all alone;
nobody can save me;

i never once heard the voice of god;
what did i do so different;
why could i never find peace, find love;
and now im all alone;
nobody can save me;

the medication worked, it held me together;
yet you clarified, i lived in a bottle;
to what worth is that;
i dreamed of hope in this place;
and now im all alone;
nobody can save me;

this soul was destined to fall;
and now it has;
remember me when you reach the heavens;
i will be looking up at you.

Eyes of Loss

it happened again;
you saw who i was;
you taught me who i am;
you showed me who i can be;

i confided in you;
i found peace with you;
i was understood, accepted by you;
sure enough, it happened again;

before, i brokedown in grief;
this time, i am without response;
before, i had no aspiration to continue;
this time i am eager to fulfill your prophecy;

the pain is hardly paralyzing;
but there is something missing;
it is time for me to act;
but there is still something missing;

the thought alone is unsettling;
i depsise the feelings this brings;
we shared a passion, a vision;
so i cant help but thank god that it happened again.

Eyes of Judgement

quickly now im angry;
my ears, they burn of heated, rushing, such angry blood;
you throw at me a blamk and lifeless expression from your cowardess;
in your weak effort, i have picked you apart and now im angry;

and yet you dont stop;
how dark you are, pushing your scorn;
unfortunate for you, i have not thick skin but pained emotions;
your belittling glare cut straight into me and im angry;
listen to me you deamon, there is no way around your most true;

i pray and wish for an easy spirit but im still so angry;
it hurts (i hold back my tears) to be affected in such a way;
you fool, not even aware of the danger you have brewed;
these eyes of judgement set you alone to me and im angry;

and then from the heavens, god intervenes sparing the both of us;
im hurt, im crying, why deamon are you following me;
please, ive searched for peace and found you;
so i live this life in fear of my own self and im angry.

Eyes of Gameday

i remain hidden behind my headphones;
i am isolated, all alone;
as the energy around me rises, i begin to lock in;

i dig deeper, darker;
i will be strong, i will be crafty, i will execute;
hey 24, stay calm, stay cool, stay back, stay intense;

anger, hate, pain, regret, love, passion;
bring it all back, set in on fire;
reopen the wounds one more time, let the flames run wild;
build pressure, heat blood;
i push it right to the edge, then snap back to reality for you;

as i wander to the field, im sure to keep a bubble around me;
take a deep breathe and release;
im not here, nor will i be;
stand with me, guide me coach.

Eyes of Adoration

precious angels of the mighty heavens surround this very instant;
i cannot hear, i cannot speak, time has stopped;
that gentle fall breeze that used to rustle the golden leaves of my yard, has now found me on a new side of the world;

it is cold, our breathe is visible, yet i find comfort in your eyes;
right now, in this place, my fear of this world is no more;

the very walls of my heart tremble and give way to the beauty of this moment;
as i come two from such an oblivian, im left with such a rush of love, passion, of warm emotion;
like the turn of day, our hearts connect, bound together in a way we ave never before seen;

her eyes are indescribable, words will not give them justice;
it is as if this is the first time i have truely seen the beauty of god's creation;
they capture me, i grow weak in the knees;
i can only help but feel such gratitude for these eyes of adoration.